The Long Story…

If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I LOVE food - no really, I absolutely LOVE it! Some of us love music, others are movie-fanatics, and some can’t seem to put down a good book… But me? I love coming up with new recipes, experimenting with unknown ingredients, chatting with chefs, and helping inspire others to nourish their mind, body, and soul with nutrient-dense and DELICIOUS foods.

But.. Spoiler alert… My relationship with food wasn’t always a bunch of “butterflies and rainbows”…

Here’s the story.

A Fear That Nearly Took My Life

Like many of us today, I wasn’t always fond of food… Growing up as an elite athlete, I was hyper-focussed on the nutritional content of every bite of food that went into my body. I would walk into grocery stores and see shelves upon shelves of “macros”. I didn’t care about the flavours - all I wanted was to make sure every ingredient I purchased was within my “protein and calorie goals”.

My hyper-focus on nutrition & macros led to severe guilt when eating something “bad” and countless hours spent accounting for every crumb of food that entered my mouth…

Long story short… It wasn’t long before I was diagnosed with a severe case of anorexia nervosa – one that nearly took my life. 

When I was suffering from my eating disorder, there were only about 4 foods on my “you’re allowed to eat this” list. I restricted myself from eating any food that contained fat, added salt, sugar, and carbohydrates. Essentially, I was left with vegetables, fat-free cottage cheese, fat-free Greek yogurt, chicken breasts, and a very occasionally some fruit.

As I am sure you could imagine, this wasn’t an “ideal diet”… My bones become frail, my mind became weak, my muscles deteriorated, and my social, physical, and mental health vanished…  It was only when I was near death that I realized I wasn’t really living at all. 

When I was 18, I was forced to withdraw from my first university… I was devastated. But, with 6 months to live, recovery was absolutely necessary. 

Re-Living My Childhood To Overcome Anorexia

Though it was recommended to go to an in-patient program, my parents felt as though I would be best supported at home (and, yes, they were 100% right - even outpatient care was a disaster for me - the classes were more like an eating disorder strategy session than a recovery group….p.s. this is my personal experience only…)

Anywho, despite choosing to recover at home AND being incredible doctors - my parents didn’t really know how to navigate the situation. They felt as though they had lost their child.

You see, as a young girl, I loved playing around in the kitchen. I’d ALWAYS lick the bowl of cookie dough, spend hours decorating cookies and cakes, and experiment with my own wild recipes for them to try (…lucky them hehe…). Through my teenage years, my passion for food began to fade… Anorexia took over my life – and my love of food drifted away. I’d run from any-and-all sweets, I’d avoid the sight of cookies and cakes, and my “wild and creative recipes” transformed into a long list of nutrition facts tables…

My parents knew that the little-girl-who-loved-all-things-food was still somewhere inside of me. Maybe she was beaten down, maybe she was broken apart – but she was there. And they were determined to find her & bring her back to life…

The Food Network Shows That Saved My Life

Through recovery, I loved watching Food Network shows (though it sounds ironic, an interest in food and/or cooking for others is actually VERY common in those who suffer from EDs).

My dad and I would sit in front of the TV and watch hours of Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, Guys Grocery Games, Cutthroat Kitchen, and Chopped.

I was hooked.

During recovery, there wasn’t much I could do – and the Food Network quickly became a source of peace and happiness. I took out a notepad, flicked on the channel, and started writing down my ideas.

Here was the Catch...

I had a million ideas – but I was far too afraid to actually try them out… 

One day, on our afternoon walk, I was describing one of my meal ideas to my mom. I saw a challenge on Guys Grocery Games where the contestants had to make a meal that only used ingredients that started with the letter B.

I had an idea (bare with me here)…

• Main Course: A roasted chicken breast (the “breast” makes it count as a B… I don’t make the rules here folks…) topped with a blueberry balsamic reduction…

• Side Dish: A medley of roasted broccoli and brussels sprouts topped with blue cheese and crushed brazil nuts. 

My mom thought I had lost my mind… Chicken and blueberries and blue cheese??

Thank you, I'll pass...  

I was so convinced that the flavours would merry together…

• The sweetness from the blueberries plus…

• The funky flavour from the blue cheese plus…

• The brightness/tanginess of the balsamic plus…

• The saltiness from a salted, roasted, juicy chicken breast.

It seemed like it would work… Sure, it wasn’t your “run of the mill” chicken dinner, but when you broke down each component of the dish,  it sounded like maybe (just maybe) it would work… 

I wanted to prove that my idea was good… I could imagine the flavours in my mind – but I wanted to take a bite of it for myself. 

This was HUGE.

Not only was I thinking about eating a full meal – but I actually WANTED to taste some of the foods I had feared.

Maybe it was my ego, maybe it was my dream of one day serving a dish to Guy, Alton or Ted and having them say “WOW, this is something special” – but for once in about 5 years, I was finally EXCITED to eat. 

That day, I asked my mum to go to the store with me to pick out the ingredients. I spent a few hours in the kitchen, throwing the meal together. I had no recipe, and no clue what I was doing… So, I began to taste each component to gain a clearer understanding of what I was working with. 

• Wait what…?

• Was I really tasting my food?

• Was I actually focussed on the flavour rather than the nutrition??

• And, was I REALLY enjoying the process of cooking and creating new flavour combinations??

• Yes. Yes. And, YES.

I finished the dish, and it looked awful…But, I honestly didn’t give a F&*k. I was proud. I was completely, utterly, and overwhelmingly proud.

The chicken was light purple (remember… blueberries turn things light purple when cooked), the blueberries were mushed up on top, the roasted vegetables had a blue-ish tint (again, thanks to those berries), and the blue cheese and brazil nuts were sort-of slapped on top…

Let’s just say, at first glance, I would definitely be “Chopped”… 

The Incredibly Ugly Yet Delicious Dinner

Regardless of the presentation, I served it to my parents (we will side-step the look on their face when I served them purple chicken…).

Anywho, together, we sat down and ate the meal as a family. I presented them the dish, explaining each flavour profile and watched eagerly as they took their first bites…

“Wow”

They were shocked. Somehow and someway, the flavours actually complemented each other. My mom’s face lit up as she took another bite, and my dad just sat there, smiling in awh (I might be exaggerating here - but you get the gist).

What a wild concept… Blueberries + chicken + blue cheese + balsamic vinegar… But it worked… It actually worked. 

And, so began my passion for food.

Don’t get me wrong – It wasn’t a light-switch moment… I spent years in recovery (and still struggle to this day on occasion) – but my fear of food was slowly melting away. I started to look past the nutrition, and I fell in love with wild flavour combinations, the artistry of food, the history of ingredients, and the cultural significance of food traditions.

There was so much to learn and discover. I had found a new side of food that was unlike anything I’d seen or heard of before – it was incredible… 

Embarking on My Culinary Journey

Once my recovery journey was well underway and I was stabilized (from a medical perspective), I started immediately working in a kitchen...

My first job was at a restaurant in Kingston, Ontario called "Rustic Spud" - a homemade pizza & pasta restaurant (not take out). I was a PETITE woman - and, at that, I was the only woman in the kitchen... 

I LOVED it.

Making the pizza dough from scratch... Learning how to prepare gnocchi in LARGE batches... Making fresh dinner rolls... It was all so interesting to me. 

The kitchen itself wasn't always my favourite (the stress in there gets to MEGA levels) - but when I was on prep duty in the back working with dough - I felt SO at peace... 

I knew I wanted to learn more.

So, I applied to George Brown Culinary School - specifically for a program that specialized in nutrition.

Again, I won't go too much in detail about the program - but, it was something I LOVED. The 5 hour labs felt like 20-minutes, the flavours and ingredients were so inspiring, and I entered into every school-wide culinary competition I possibly could. 

Probably the most interesting piece was learning how to prepare delicious foods for various needs - toddlers, dairy-free, vegan/vegetarian, dysphagia, diabetes, and even cancer patients...

It really proved to me that ENJOYING delicious, nutrient dense foods can make a day feel SO much more special... 

A Year Into the Program, My Professor Told Us to Read a "Diet Book"

Oh f*&k (pardon my language). I did NOT want to have ANYTHING to do with a diet book... 

Look - I was a studious person... And was always on TOP of my assignments - that person who starts as soon as the assignment is handed out.

But reading this "diet book" was an absolute "no thank you".

I had my fair share of experiences with diets - and none of which were anything remotely near positive experiences... 

So, the idea of reading yet another diet book was nauseating - and I refused to read the book until about a week before our report was due... 

Once I began reading the book - I found myself almost lost-with-words...  

Yes, it was a diet book - but it was different... It was... Positive? It... made sense? It... was logical? 

Shocking.

The book: Always Hungry? by Dr David Ludwig and Chef Dawn Ludwig.  

Rather than counting calories, the Always Hungry? Book placed an emphasis on quality of food - promoting lower glycemic carbohydrates (higher in fiber), healthy fats, proteins, and lots of vegetables. 

Forget calories - focus on quality. 

AND, most importantly - listen to YOUR body and use your body's signals as a guide for your UNIQUE nutrition journey. 

It was a way of eating that felt more like an experiment to discover what foods allow YOU to feel YOUR best. 

Yes, there were "phases" to the program... But, the concept was to first take away foods that commonly cause negative side affects - then reintroduce them slowly and see how YOU FEEL. 

I loved it.

From a logical nutrition perspective - it made perfect sense.

And, from a perspective of someone who suffered from an ED - it finally felt like an approach to eating (not a rigid diet) that was empowering and positive rather than a diet that claims "it's your fault if it's not working"...

I Wrote an Email to Chef Dawn... 

I had to share my thoughts with the authors... So, I reached out to Chef Dawn, the chef and co-author of the Always Hungry? Solution.... And she REPLIED (omg!). She was SO kind and welcoming - and we soon scheduled a Zoom to chat more "in person".

A couple months of emails and Zoom calls, and I eventually landed an internship with her and Dr. Ludwig. 

The rest, my friends, is history...

1. I developed recipes and wrote their blog

2. I wrote their email newsletters & jumped into their Facebook community

3. I got certified as a Registered Health Coach

4. I helped develop their coaching programs and online resources

5. I got certified as a Natural Nutrition Clinical Practitioner

6. And, I am now the Lead Coach of the Always Hungry? Solution AND a student in a Master's Degree Program for Clinical Nutrition

So, Why Create Always Nourished?

Here's the thing - I LOVE the science based background of the Always Hungry? Solution... It is one that I whole-heartedly agree with - but, when coaching the program to individual clients, I noticed there were some common challenges that popped up... 

• Food Relationship Challenges

  • They found themselves flip-flopping between eating "perfectly" and going "off the rails" 

  • Food was a major source of stress, uncertainty, and overwhelm in their lives (worry about what they are eating, what they will eat later on, how they will reach their goals, etc.)

  • They would often worry about "losing control" over their food choices, and eating too many sweets or salty snacks in one sitting

  • They viewed themselves as "good" or "bad" depending on if they were "following the plan perfectly" or not. 

  • They faced emotional eating challenges - often using food as a method of soothing uncomfortable feelings such as stress, boredom, or sadness.

  • They had been dieting for so long, it was hard to listen to their body & know when they were truly hungry VS having cravings VS an emotional response. 

• Practical Lifestyle Challenges

  • They didn't have an hour every day to cook food - their lives were busy and unpredictable (needed simple & quick recipes).

  • They had a family to cook for OR were cooking for one - which presented challenges with food/meal prep

  • They worried about attending events or travelling - afraid it would inevitably "derail" progress  

  • They had complex dietary needs/restrictions - vegetarian, vegan, dairy-free, allergic to nuts, anti-histamine, etc., etc.

• Macros & Calculations

  • Calculating macros at every meal felt overwhelming and confusing 

  • They viewed the ratios in the book as the "be all, end all" of "success" - and often felt down or discouraged when "getting the ratios wrong".

  • They too-often relied on ratios to "tell them what to eat" rather than listening and tuning into their body signals to help them

I created the Always Nourished Community to help others transform the Always Hungry? science (which is, very simply, just a lower glycemic load way of eating) into a realistic & sustainable lifestyle based on PERSONAL needs. 

Food isn't JUST about nutrition - it is embedded into so many aspects of our life... And, as a result, it needs to be something that is positive, empowering, uplifting, AND simultaneously supportive of BOTH our health goals AND our lifestyle.

The Always Nourished Way of Eating recognizes that nutrition is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Here, we love food for all it brings... The nutritional benefits... The mental health benefits... And, the social experiences sharing a special meal can offer.

We focus on the individual FIRST - then we create custom (and flexible) nutrition strategies that follow a lower-glycemic, whole-food approach to eating AND that are sustainable, positive, and practical for each unique person.

I love what I do... 

Because I've been there. I've been in a space where food was so negative - where it felt scary to have something that wasn't "nutrient-dense", where every meal felt overwhelming and confusing, and where it felt like food was getting in the way of me living my life. 

My passion is in helping people to rediscover the joy of food - while also uncovering the power of food in bringing us strength, health, happiness, and incredible memories that will last a lifetime.